Uncle John

I was watching my John Mayer DVD and he told a story just before he played Love Song for No One which I found really interesting, here it is:

So I was thinking about relationships as it pertains to songs about relationships and I figured out the key to all relationships, and how to make it work, check it out. This is a tip from your Uncle John.

When you first meet somebody, you find out they like you first of all; you know, friend of a friend of theirs come up with the old “Hey, she really really likes you!” and it kills you, floors you, sends you to the ground!

Then you get their number and you call them, right? And you say “Yeah…hmmm….right…yeah, that was a great phone conversation! Can I see you sometime?” and they say this, they say “…I’d like that” I’D LIKE THAT they say! Now that sends you back to the floor again. There’s nothing more exhilarating then “I’d like that” Now you cant sleep, you keep dancing around, because of “I’d like that”!

So then you hang our for a while, you know, you call her and talk on the phone all the time. Then one day you drop what feels like the bomb, you say “You know what? I’ve been thinking about you lately” and she goes “*gasp!*” and you go “what?” and she goes “Sorry! It's just that I’ve just been thinking about you too!” BAM! Higher in the sky, you’re feeling 6 feet off the ground!

You’ve gone through “I’d like that” to “I’m thinking of you” Months pass, and then it happens! One of you goes “You know what? I love you” and nothing in the world is better then “I love you”! Then maybe she starts crying or if it’s a he then he goes “*gasp*” and all of a sudden you’re like “Yeah! Im in!”

Now you’ve passed “I’d like that” and “I’ve been thinking about you” and now you’re at “I love you”. Then comes things like “I love you more then anything!” but the threshold keeps going! “I love you more then life!” faster and faster! “I love you more then MY life!” higher and higher! “I want to marry you!” more and more! “I want to impregnate you with my love!” then comes “…DAMIT! WORDS DON’T WORK ANYMORE!” and then comes this line, and you know you’ve used it before “I wish they put a new word in the dictionary cause LOVE DOSENT WORK ANYMORE!!!”

Then you cross the really interesting point where all of a sudden it becomes “I hate you” and you go “Oh no! she hates me!” and she goes “I hate you more then anything!” then comes “We’re over!” “No we’re not!” “Yes we are!” And there, right there, is where words just have no meaning for you, words cannot do anything anymore. You’re left with nothing, like throwing punches underwater, you’re done.

You know what the moral of that story is? Never ever EVER EVER underestimate the power of “…I’d like that”

Regrets

"Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently" --Charles Dudley Warner

When something you want is just out of reach, I reckon its worse then you being far away from it. ‘Want’ is an odd feeling. It can be a great, hopeful feeling or a terrible feeling that eats away at you.

I want something I know I can never have. And it’s hard. You have visions; you play out little scenarios in your head. Live out little scenes where you get it, even when you know the facts.

And when its right there and it’s just out of reach, you think of stupid things. You think of doing impulsive actions that would have terrible implications but when you’re right there, it doesn’t seem to matter. What you want is there, and you make a choice. For me, ive always stuck to the safe road. Done the smart thing.

One day I won’t, and wether I regret it or not is something I haven’t figured out yet.

Then again, regret is something I always said was something I just didn’t have. “Regrets? Who has them? Everything happens for a reason, remember? Bad things happen so that you learn, and if you keep that in mind you should have no regrets!” Isn’t it funny how hypocritical I can be?

There is one thing, one thing that I regret. One regret, and it kills me so much that I cant even write it down! It tortures me, I always think about it. I hate myself for doing it, and even though it was a while ago it keeps coming up back to haunt me. Somebody mentions something and it reminds me.

Somebody mentioned the actual incident the other day and for the first time ever I felt what it is to be truly uncomfortable. A bad feeling; you get really hot and itchy, and your words come out mumbled and incomprehensible. Your crappy attempts at a subject change are noticeable for miles around and that just makes it worse.

Well on that happy note (lol) I’m off, but ive decided something. No matter how much you think something is out of reach, it is every persons duty to try.

Knowledgeable Regret

“…I mean for us, time is purely arbitrary.” –Nanki Poo, Hot Mikado

Isn’t it funny, we make choices every day but we never really know the implications of those choices. Yeah, sure; we can look back and say “oh I wonder what would have happened if…” but that’s not the same. Im talking about making a choice, then finding out later on what all your options really were. Almost like going back in time.

That brings up the argument, “if you went back in time to change something knowing the implications of your choice, would you do it?” If you knew what your other options were, if you knew what those other paths could be, if you knew the stuff you do now; would you make the same choice? Would you change it?

It’s a tough thing; it really is hard to make sense of. You obviously made those choices for a reason; wether it was so that you could learn a lesson or have an experience, or so somebody else could learn a lesson or have an experience. Do you have a right to change that? Is it in your best interests?

I found something out the other day that (if I had known it at the time) would have affected a choice I made. A choice that taught me a lot, but that was never one of my favourite choices (lol). Now that I think about it, now that I really think about it, I probably would have changed my history.

All this preaching ive done about not changing history because of the lessons you learn goes right out the window. Because one of my choices that I made, without knowing it was even a choice, made me lose something that I wanted. Want. Will always want. And in the end, even if I would have lost it anyway, I would have changed my history.

Now if that’s not hypocritical, nothing is!