Suicidal moment of scission

She looks at the table. The table reads “Mind”. Weapons of choice. She takes the scissors. The silver killing edge glints light into her eye. Pupils dilate, but she does not squint. It’s just another pain.

She looks at the artwork. Grey buildings towering over a small, cowering homeless person. She hates it so much.

She is wearing a shirt. It says “I do not exist”

She raises the scissors to cut the canvas. Just before the moment of scission, she withdraws. She sees who the homeless person in the painting is. It is her. It is also wearing a shirt that says “I do not exist”

She hates it even more. She tells is so. Shouts at it so. Raises scissors…

“All seems a bit melodramatic, doesn't it?” says the Observer

She wheels, seeing nobody. “I hate it! Look, I am confined in that painting! I am freeing myself!”

“By slashing it” says the Observer “the whole painting ceases to be”

“What does it matter if I slash it?!” she screams, tears streaming from her face “I am nobody! I do not exist! My slash at the painting means nothing; it will live on! But I will be free!”

The Observer walks without walking, down to the painting. It strokes the canvas. “This is your life” the Observer says “It is all life. You are the only real thing in the painting”

She falls to her knees. “Who would make such a sorrowful painting?! I curse the painter! The figure is so alone, pressed in from all sides by a society it dosen't understand! Who painted it?!”

“You did” says the Observer. The girl looks down to see herself holding a paintbrush, but a blink later it is scissors again.

“When somebody paints their paintings, they are given scissors” the Observer calmly says “when they realise the truth, they are given back the paintbrush”

The girl looks at her hands. How silly of her, she got paint all over her hands! Red with the blood of her sins, blue with the peace of her good deeds. She goes to wipe her hands on her clothes…and stops.

She turns to the Observer. It is holding a towel. She takes it “Nobody ever looks up anymore” it says, and is gone. Was never there. Is never going to be.

At that exact moment, she lifts her eyes from the ground. She looks at her painting…she never noticed the sun creeping over the top of the buildings…

She looks at the instrument in her hand. It is a paintbrush, it is a pair of scissors; it is all of them at once.

Her shirt reads “I am all”

Bad Things Come to Those Who Worry

"These days with the world gettin colder,
She spends more time sleeping over than I planned.
It dark I know but then again...It's the brightest thing I've got..." --Covered in Rain, John Mayer

“We’ll be together forever, right? I mean, you don’t see us breaking up do you?” my lady said, injecting the thought right into my head.

Bad things come to people who worry. There is nothing more interesting to somebody then the fears of another person. And NOTHING makes you do something like somebody telling you not to does. I mean “don’t look down” is the best example. Another example is the guy in movies who goes “you wouldn’t kill us, surely!” is usually the first one six feet under. The kids at school that worry about being bullied are the kids who get bullied.

She placed thoughts in my head that weren’t there. Blissfully unaware of the REAL nature of teen relationships, my bubble was burst and I was forced out of my drug-induced haze to look at the world as it really is.

Teen relationships are like being in a sleeping dragons cave. You look around, and find gold on the ground. You see that the closer to the dragon you get, the more (and better quality) loot there is! The closer you get to that dragon, the better loot you have (lol, loot in the form of sexual delicacies and loving unity/closeness), but the better chance you have of waking it. And there is a certain point that you pass where it becomes impossible to retreat and NOT wake the dragon. This is what scared me on the ride home today.

Do I have a point where I have to commit myself? Have I gone too long? Too serious? If I try to escape the cave now, will I be eaten by that dragon? I never even THOUGHT of ending it, but now I worry. Is NOW the only chance I have to end it?

I don’t love her; I know that. I don’t love her in the way I have loved others. I am with her because I like to be with her. I couldn’t be in a relationship with ANYONE else, we have a connection that way. She thinks like I do relationship-wise, we’re on the same lever. Our connection and relationship is something unique to anything I’ve been involved in…but now im scared.Seeds of worry have been sown. Now, over time, I can see them growing. All I need now is water, and a little event between us will serve as this metaphor...

Why did she say it?! Bad things come to those who worry. Bad things also come to those who are AROUND people who worry. Don’t ever ask questions; just bask in the bliss that is handed to you.

Concrete Jungle

I saw some graffiti today that I thought I should mention. Two items jumped out at me:

There’s a woman sitting below me on the street who’s not moving.
Staring straight ahead.
Feet planted evenly apart.
She’s concentrating on disappearing…

The other one said:

Walking blank and heavy through the city.
Holding myself in so I don’t flood the streets…

Wherefore art thou?

I think love is pretty well summed up in (ironically) William Shakespeare’s masterpiece, Romeo and Juliet (I just got the DVD today lol). Romeo says:


“O brawling love! O loving hate! O heavy lightness! Serious vanity!
Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Feather of lead! Bright smoke! Cold fire! Sick health!”


It just goes to show the double edged sword that is love itself. The phrase “brawling love” sets it up; love can be fighting or caring (bad and good).

From then on; it tries to show how love is a “misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms” by comparing complete opposites. “heavy lightness”, “bright smoke”, “cold fire”, “feather of lead” and so on and so on! Shows the two total opposite sides of terrible emotions and passionate bonding that make up love as we know it.

But then again; we already knew Shakespeare was a genius, right?

"We hold these truths to be self-evident..."

“Essentially, the human being by its very nature is corrupt. It is born evil, and suppresses this. Under pressure, however, the evil truly comes out…” --Thomas Artaud, 20th Century playwright

There is no perfection like the world we live in. Whatever kind of creator you believe in; there is no denying that the world in which we inhabit is so intricately designed, that the word ‘awe’ simply doesn’t have enough power. Everything fits together, everything offsets something else; everything is beautiful and constructed like the most perfect art piece. Life is the ultimate beauty, the “Paranoid Android”, the “Matrix” saga, the “1984”, the “Creation of Adam”; it is art personified.

Everything is balanced and perfect in life. All life is offset by death, all good by bad, all sickness by health, all love by hatred. The keyword for existence is ‘symbiosis’ because we all not only rely on each other, but rely on NOT having each other. The average person needs the perfect mixture of the outward emotion (attempted expressed good-ness) and inward innate reaction (attempted hidden bad-ness). The total reverse creates perfect harmony.

Human beings ARE born evil. But this is the perfect offset, as humans die good. Society impresses upon us the very basic ideas of interaction with society and nature; we call these ‘morals’. These ARE essential, for they give this good that we need. The good takes over the outward emotions, and the bad takes refuge in the subconscious.

Evil is absolutely necessary.
Murder is necessary,
murderers are necessary,
anger is necessary,
envy is necessary,
hatred is necessary,
rape is necessary,
genocide is necessary,
death is necessary

Good is absolutly necessary.
Humor is necessary,
helping is necessary,
altruism is necessary,
bonding is necessary,
laughter is nessicary,
art is necessary,
beauty is necessary,
birth is necessary.

Love is also necessary. Love is existence personified; for it is a perfect example of balance of emotion and act, good and bad, cause and effect.

People say the world is becoming more evil. This is not true, not in the slightest. Evil simply gets more airtime; for evil is more interesting.

Perfectly harmonious, never-ending (for if every death creates life and vice versa; how can ALL die?)

There is no escaping fate, there is no leaving the balance. All life is controlled to an extent, because with every action comes a reaction. So what are you? The action or the reaction?

There are SO many people who HATE these ideas. They love chaos theories; they HATE the idea of fate, of balance, of harmony, of beauty. These people simply dislike the idea of control. It is hubris to the point of ultimate pure selfishness.

Unfortunately, it is those who believe that they are controlled who are the most controlled. Only by acceptance can you begin modification. Those who understand control; understand that they were CREATED, and have PURPOSE (to have purpose is to be controlled, obviously) are the people that can make that purpose whatever they want it to be. While they are still controlled, they have no problems and are therefore free to shape their existence (a kind of reward from God, you could say)

I can already see the world shaking its head…you are simply tightening the noose…

True and ultimate domination is a terrible, beautiful evil (in the wrong hands). Human hands are the wrong hands, God’s hands are the right hands (more balance)

Hatred is beautiful,
love is beautiful,
breathing is beautiful,
sex is beautiful,
lust is beautiful,
death is beautiful,
life is beautiful,
emotion is beautiful,
murder is beautiful,
bonding is beautiful,
laughter is beautiful,
anger is beautiful,
envy is beautiful,
smiles are beautiful,
frowns are beautiful,
beauty is beautiful

The world is the best example of art form. Its splendour and perfect balance are something to be admired. If you put a straight-edge on existence, the bubble would stay in the middle….and that’s the ball game.

Spirit Talk - Take 2

This Reiki Reading was done the next day by my auntie (who dabbled in the art as well). Its very different; focusing on colours and feelings rather then dialogue. Its also different because she got different images and “spirit talk” from different parts of my body. Interesting…

I tell Tom I want to give him a healing – He says “yes please”. My hands are hot he is taking the healing.

Body Position One: I see Tom walking backwards; he wants to show me the darkness. Where he has peace and rest, he likes this peace. Lots of white faces in the black; white happy faces. He smiles with them. Tom relaxes here and is at peace. We leave the blackness. White faces. Tom takes my hand and we run into a room of whiteness Tom is happy to show me. Tom wants to play he is happy and full of energy.

Body Position Two: I ask Tom “where are you?” I am here Auntie Helen up this tree – I don’t climb very often – watch me jump I think I am good at this. “Well let’s go”

Hips: I see Tom sitting at the base of a tree just sitting and looking – and he likes the garden he likes to run and skip in the garden.

Groin: I want to lay on my bed. I still want this healing. I just want to relax. I see red and mauve colouring – streaks of it. Red and mauve. Tom wants to sleep (I will continue)

Heart: Tom is enjoying this he wants to sleep while I heal. I see red and mauve again…

Eyes: Tom sleeps

Temple: Tom is peaceful

Ears: Have a good sleep Tom – we will do this again.

Neck: Love and dismiss…

Finish – 11.15am 20/9/88

Spirit Talk - Take 1

Soon after I was baptised as a baby; my mum took me to the Usui Reiki Centre, Camberwell. They laid me down and a Reiki specialist touched my heart with one arm and wrote with another. They said they could feel my spiritual energy talking to them, and that they wrote down what my spirit was saying. Mum gave this to me today because now im “old enough to understand it”. I had two of them done by different schools of Reiki thought; here is one:

Image of Tom kicking a soccer ball straight through the goal. A direct hit. Full points. He feels pleased with himself about something although others may not understand his views. What is seen by him as achievement is seen as something else by others.

All is not what it seems.

We must look beyond the physical. The illusion. The illusion of illness, whatever that means to us.

Don’t worry about me. I’m ok; look at yourself! Who really needs healing?

Image of a space-man and outer space; all of that stuff. Cosmic cartoon characters.

Quite at home with this world.

Image of someone writing/drawing – it’s either Tom as an adult or someone that Tom knows (a father figure?)

Feeling a little tired now – “I want to sleep” Tom says “I like to dream, I have wonderful dreams! In my dreams I can connect – can be who I really want to…its hard in the other world”

Surrounded by well meaning adults with heaps of hang-ups about me/themselves. Makes me feel sad sometimes (pity?). Sad and afraid for them. What will become of them? My loved ones? My earthly guardians?

Song: “If I cant have you – I don’t want nobody baby”

Image of cord coming from child to mother; feels connected.

I’m creating a brilliant reality. I’m really doing it ok – I’m just working it all out. Don’t be upset, just love Me.

Feeling of listlessness, but that’s just my body; im really alright.

Feeling of heaviness in the lungs – some sadness over a “Toy”

Head: Music sounds like the rock group Nirvana. Image of a huge Angel on the front of their album cover comes to mind.

Nothing more to say, im really ok. Don’t worry about the music – everyone has different tastes. Noise to many ears but the sounds of God to others.

Can feel a change – Me Too!!!

“Sometimes I go numb – but that’s just protection”

Thanks for the healing but don’t call me – I’ll call you.

Over and Out.

Finish - 12:20pm 19/9/88'

A Teenagers MSN Conversation (Alternatively titled "Much Ado About Nothing")

Teenager A: what do u reckon real power is?

Teenager B: in what sense?

Teenager A: exactly; in what sense do you think somebody has real power over somebody/thing

Teenager B: when they can make it do whatever they want
Teenager B: or whatever they choose

Teenager A: yes, thats a good idea
Teenager A: how do u get it?

Teenager B: depends on what you have power over, i guess

Teenager A: ok; lets say a person
Teenager A: or people

Teenager B: 'a person' and 'people'
Teenager B: are very different
Teenager B: person - you'd have to charm them, so they're attached to you in some way
Teenager B: and be willing to do something for you

Teenager A: aha, thats interesting
Teenager A: most ppl think that power is gotten through violence
Teenager A: but you reckon that if you can get somebody to do something willingly, that is true power?

Teenager B: Hmm

Teenager A: thats good

Teenager B: maybe not

Teenager A: not?

Teenager B: depends WHY that will to do it is there. if its because they "have" to i.e. following a teachers orders, as opposed to someone doing a favor for a friend

Teenager A: which one carries more power u reckon?
Teenager A: from those two examples?

Teenager B: the teacher, because they can enforce it, the favor is also a choice on the 'friends' part, not so much the power of the person over thier friend

Teenager A: thats a good conclusion
Teenager A: but i reckon true power is shown when nobody knows theyr controlled

Teenager B: is that REALLY relevant? does it matter?

Teenager A: well lets say you wanted to rule a government that way
Teenager A: people follow your orders because YOU are in control
Teenager A: its only a matter of time (a VERY short ammount of time, i reckon) before people go "wait a minute, i dont WANT to be controlled! i rebel!"
Teenager A: and then they rebel
Teenager A: we see it in school kids all the time
Teenager A: but with friends
Teenager A: ur on their level
Teenager A: why would they want to rebel?
Teenager A: and yet the'll do what u want them to do
Teenager A: if u phrase it right

Teenager B: thats not a difference in power, just the consequences of how you use it. Say if someone was controlling a government (yeah all of it - far fetched, i know, but just for this example) and people knew, his power would be no different than if people didnt know. its just that they can react to that knowledge and decide wether they want it to be that way or not

Teenager A: oh k, i see what ur saying
Teenager A: like Bush; people complain about being controlled yet it makes no difference, he still has power
Teenager A: is that sorta what u mean?

Teenager B: well sorta. though in that case, his power IS restricted, because people are watching him, and he has to adhere to some code of conduct

Teenager A: exactly
Teenager A: when people are KNOWN to be in power
Teenager A: rules become applied

Teenager B: hehe, i knew you would bring this up
Teenager B: but his power is the same as someone in the same position when people dont know about it, its just that he chooses not to do some things. like nuke the world.

Teenager A: thats interesting
Teenager A: if Bush said "nuke the world" what do u think would happen?

Teenager B: it wouldnt happen, the people below him wouldnt do it
Teenager B: aw
Teenager B: maybe
Teenager B: who knows? depends on how he justifies it

Teenager A: well what about if when he said to do it, Greenpeace said to do it as well
Teenager A: and so did all the TV personalities

Teenager B: people can make their own decisions, it still depends on where the missiles are headed. if it wasnt something so grave as launching nukes
Teenager B: then people would go with the crowd

Teenager A: i agree with u; but i reckon if the right people say to do it, something as grave as nukes could happen JUST as easily

Teenager B: yeah thats true, but the people you mentioned arent 'the right people'

Teenager A: yes; that’s true
Teenager A: for US
Teenager A: for THEM though

Teenager B: Hm

Teenager A: we dont have the power

Teenager B: sorry? we dont have the power for what

Teenager A: to control who shoots the nukes
Teenager A: for Bush (who does have the power) he would b looking at those kind of people
Teenager A: so he can retain an image

Teenager B: yeah, true
Teenager B: we don’t have enough influence

Teenager A: we are the governed body
Teenager A: nothing else
Teenager A: thats obvious from all those 'Rock Against Bush' things and protests and all
Teenager A: we can try; but we have no power
Teenager A: myself; i dont really care
Teenager A: but its interesting to think about

Teenager B: what if bush was going to rain nukes on us then?

Teenager A: then we'd better find some shelter *looks for shelter*

Teenager B: Hahaha

Teenager A: lol other then that; not much else
Teenager A: i found some shelter; some conspiracy theory nerds who were hacking into our convos had beat me there

Teenager B: Hehehe
Teenager B: sex is not the root of all desire

Teenager A: no?
Teenager A: sex is the root of pleasure
Teenager A: pleasure is the root of desire

Teenager B: not all desire stems from pleasure
Teenager B: the desire for a big house
Teenager B: the desire for a warm fire to sit next to
Teenager B: the desire to earn lots of money
Teenager B: ambition, pride, comfort

Teenager A: lol i reckon u could relate the 'big house' to a phallic symbol
Teenager A: desire for a warm fire is just like a warm body; same perceptual response
Teenager A: money is one of the symbols of sex; used ALL the time in literature

Teenager B: i disagree on all three counts. a house is a house, make it represent whatever symbols you want, but its a physical thing, a building. warmth is a basic human yearning, not necessarily for another body. money may be a symbol for sex but its much much more, its also how we live

Teenager A: everything is symbols; all perception is symbol

Teenager B: thats a big call tommy boy

Teenager A: im well aware of that
Teenager A: but i reckon it is
Teenager A: because everything physical is a symbol for an emotion or stimuli
Teenager A: like u said; fire is warmth
Teenager A: but u can feel that same warmth another way
Teenager A: in which case; fire became a romantic symbol
Teenager A: open fireplace makes u think of romance
Teenager A: its used all the time in movies to give an emotion; to evoke feeling
Teenager A: u do have a point though; throughout time we are slowly becoming dulled of emotion

Teenager B: so what? fire is used as a romantic symbol. nothing more
Teenager B: still doesnt change the human NEED for warmth

Teenager A: nope; dosent change it at all
Teenager A: warmth IS needed
Teenager A: which is why sex is so important
Teenager A: in 1984; sex is taken away
Teenager A: there is no warmth in that world
Teenager A: there can be none; for warmth is dead
Teenager A: and if there is no warmth, there is NO desireTeenager A: nothing TO desire

Teenager B: warmth isnt just sex

Teenager A: but sex was the root of warmth

Teenager B: sez who

Teenager A: tell me what was?

Teenager B: Fire
Teenager B: Clothes
Teenager B: Bed

Teenager A: humans existed before fire

Teenager B: the sun!

Teenager A: haha; the sun

Teenager B: INTI

Teenager A: clever
Teenager A: INTI INTI INTI
Teenager A: thats the other warmth
Teenager A: God

Teenager B: hey, but there can be warmth without sex
Teenager B: sleeping with, as in, next to a person

Teenager A: yes thats true
Teenager A: but its that physical act
Teenager A: the statement i was TRYING to make from the start, Villac, was that sex was INTERESTING because it encapsulated all these emotions

Teenager B: because it CAUSED so many emotions?

Teenager A: over time; yeah u could say that

Teenager B: over time?
Teenager B: one night stand = emotions the next day

Teenager A: dont think of it like a one night stand
Teenager A: ur taking the Modern Lit Concept

Teenager B: think of it as?

Teenager A: u have to think of it symbolically
Teenager A: the act of two people shedding pride and becoming one

Teenager B: oh and btw, i reckon your two categories arent completely correct
Teenager B: why shedding pride?

Teenager A: pride is the wall of the soul
Teenager A: baring ur body is the closest thing to losing that wall (if at all)

Teenager B: you and your symbolisistic statements

Teenager A: i mean; what else have u got to lose after showing urself naked?!

Teenager B: but that could be seen as, as you said, giving yourself to that person
Teenager B: why does that entail loss of pride?

Teenager A: it dosent to you?

Teenager B: nope

Teenager A: hmmm; well all perception is individual anyways :D

Teenager B: lol, thats your wy out of anything isnt it?
Teenager B: hehe, true though

Teenager A: hahaha! *throws symbolic smoke bomb and runs*

Teenager B: *shoots tom in back*

Teenager A: ah! a bullet in the back! my only weakness!

Teenager B: what about a hammer to the head?

Teenager A: oh yeah
Teenager A: and that
Teenager A: nothing else though

Teenager B: Lol
Teenager B: anvil on head?

Teenager A: nah; i have an umbrella

Teenager B: lol

Teenager A: hehehe yesssss

Teenager B: exaplin that new idea of yours

Teenager A: well u know; so much blood and violence and terror over time (and being broadcast into our homes) along with black comedy and ironic veiws of life
Teenager A: empathy is becomin a thing of the past

Teenager B: i disagree

Teenager A: good boy

Teenager B: Lol
Teenager B: i can see your point, and it seems true at the outset

Teenager A: but "true love triumphs"?
Teenager A: "we all really DO feel, and we all live happily ever after?"

Teenager B: its not so much that empathy is becoming a thing of the past, its that people use it more sparingly because we do see more violence and sadness
Teenager B: no, most definately not lol

Teenager A: ah yes yes, i see what u mean
Teenager A: good point
Teenager A: so we put up WALLS
Teenager A: empathy is simply USED less
Teenager A: the world is too much for us to emphasise with

Teenager B: it always has, BUT now we're aware of it

Teenager A: a Darwinist would say that we are evolving to deal with the influx of information we recive now compared to 50 years ago

Teenager B: i would tell him to shut up

Teenager A: haha lol
Teenager A: brilliant

Just Thought You'd Like to Know

The human race is slowly losing all emotion. Empathy is becoming a thing of the past; everything is cost-benefit now. There is no denying it; the process of physical stimulus evoking an emotion is slowly being dulled; like Novacane dulling a tooth before an operation. We are all becoming like the news reporter; we have seen so much bad and so much horror that we are slowly becoming dulled to feeling emotion itself.

I know I don’t feel much emotion anymore. You see a family of 5 have died in a car crash on the news and what do you do? You change the channel. No emotion, no facial change, no real emotional response. Life has become a perfect representation of the cost-benefit response model. You do something only after weighing up the cost and the possible benefit of it.

…I wasn’t actually going anywhere with that; just thought you’d like to know :p

The Horizontal Monster-Mash

“The only interesting things in life: sex and death” --Thomas Artaud, 20th Century Playwright

Sex is a very interesting concept. It seems to have much more power then people give it credit for. It is the one issue that not only divides people’s opinions, but divides people themselves (interesting effect for an act that is meant to be the ultimate togetherness). It has every title under the sun attached to it; from ‘terrible’ and ‘horrible’ to ‘wonderful’ and ‘pleasurable’. Freud says that all people think about is it; all symbolism is sex. It divides, yet binds. It confuses, yet clarifies. All roads lead to sex, just as all roads lead AWAY from sex. It makes the strongest man a coward, and the most cowardly the strongest. It causes pain, fear, humiliation, power, pleasure, depression, laughter, tears and everything aforementioned (plus every OTHER emotion).

Where to start with sex. I guess it has to be the public conception of it. This can come from two things:

- Hollywood concept: To Hollywood, sex is the beautiful (and titillating) act of togetherness. Full of heart, and of passion. Artistic and loud, with no repercussions. Hollywood made sex big; made it the ‘must have’ of the 20th century.
- Modern Literature concept: Embarrassing and painful (both physically and mentally). An uncomfortable, mechanical-like process that takes us back to primitive times. The loss of pride. Most modern literature has to do with depressed teenagers I reckon, and this is mostly the stance that people find more real (because its painful, and people define reality as pain wether its true or not).

This churns out teenagers that either find sex lucrative, interesting or something to be worried about. This churns out middle-ages people who worry about the state of the world now that this issue is met at all.

I think the power sex has is underrated. Now that im reading Orwell’s 1984 again (my favourite book of all time) I can now truly understand sex’s influence. Sex is the root of all desire, because it is the root of all pleasure. It is the goal, the purpose of life (what nobler cause is there then to procreate?) and its level of togetherness created the emotion of love in the first place (wether people believe they’re on the same level or not).

Sex is power, because whoever controls sex controls desire. And whoever controls desire controls the very workings of the human mind. When you know what someone wants and how to give it to them, how can you be stopped? Big Brother (from 1984) took away this connection between ‘desire and sex’, and placed that connection into ‘desire and love of the Party’. The taking away of desire takes away hope (what else is there to hope for but pleasure?) and dreams (we dream about what we desire; nightmares are only twisted versions of this). With nothing to live for, nothing to hope for, nothing to dream for; humans are shells, ready to work for the only love left in the world (love of the Party).

But back to sex as a topic. Now im not exactly going to get any doctorates or masters for my studies in the field of ‘sexual experience’, I’ll be the first to admit that. But I do know that sex is one of the only things left in life that is truly an individual interpretation. I’ve read books where people have gotten to sex, and gone “this whole process is stupid, I feel nothing for it”. I found that strange at first, having only the Hollywood Concept. Then as a gained the Modern Lit Concept, I started seeing sex just as they said; as an ungainly-looking procedure.

Now? I don’t know. It’s a really weird thing; not awkward enough to laugh at, not pleasurable enough to go crazy about, not painful/hurtful enough to complain about. I guess sex is the last stripping away of puberty. It is laying yourself bare in front of somebody else; heart, soul and body. Its giving yourself to somebody. It IS loss of pride; but you are losing pride TOGETHER. It takes two to tango, and most Modern Lit Concepts miss that. It’s also awkward and sometimes uncomfortable, which is what most Hollywoods miss lol.

I guess what im getting down to, is that when you have sex; make it with the right person. Remember that pride is lost from all sides, from BOTH parties. That’s the most important thing.