Split-Second of Solitude

Awake. But eyes are still closed. Makes it a little easier.

“Son?...do you want to open your eyes”
“Not particularly”

Who would?

I guess the operation was a success. Followed the normal procedure before-hand. Thought about death, then they came to me with gas…sleep…saw the white light and followed it, all that stuff. I was expecting it (maybe that’s why it happened).

The pain is still there, but I expected it. You never get anything truly fixed without a pain during and a pain to linger afterwards.

Hospital bed-sheets are like paper, ready to be disposed when I leave. The smell of death lingers; it is born here. Hospitals are for seeing if u can pump petrol into a broken car and somehow get it to work.

“Son? The procedure is over…they say you’ll make a recovery”

Im sure I will. But I will die.

I’ve never been more comforted by blackness before, but I’ve never felt safer then when I am in the smothering darkness of my own closed eyes. Solitude warm calm peaceful solitude alone carefree individual emancipated solitude free forever never ending forev…

“C’mon Son, you can get back to living now”

Im living now…I haven’t lived until now.

“Open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes, open up your eyes” the voices are everywhere…its music. Music is good though, isnt it?

Im going to open my eyes now. Im going to join back the world I was taken from. My stomach curls just thinking about it. Yet it’s my purpose, and there is nothing more satisfying then achieving your purpose.

@:!:%:!:&:~:^:*(:@:~:~::%^ THE WHITE LIGHT AGAIN, THE PAIN...ITS REAL :$:!:^:#:%:&:*:$:@:^:&:@:$%:^:!:%:%:*:

"That’s it Son…back to reality”

The cruellest dream, reality………………………………………………................no, I’m wrong, but it was worth thinking about anyway.

Facade

“We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course pretence, it is a lie. Beneath our poised appearance, the truth is we are completely out of control” –The Merovingian, Matrix: Reloaded

Can you imagine a world where we showed the emotions we feel rather then the emotions we show? The emotions we feel inside are very rarely shown, mostly when they’re particularly bad emotions. I mean, a world where we showed how there are some people we really just don’t care about? A world where when we get angry and feel sorry a second afterwards, we could instantly apologise? A world where when some people die, we say “ha, bout time”? A world without ‘feigned interest’? Crocodile tears? Lifetime grudges? Nervous laughter? Sucking up?

Could society function?

Nope.

We are based on feeling what’s normal; what we SHOULD feel. The fact is; it’s ingrained in our society to feel a certain way at a certain time. The most important thing, that I want to make clear straight out, is that there is no escape from this. No matter how ‘individual’ we think we all are, there are certain things that we SHOW we feel, even if we don’t actually feel it.

It’s a strange social rule when you think about it logically; it’s right up there with the rule that: “You’re not allowed to turn around and walk in the other direction in public unless you make sure EVERYONE knows WHY you’re turning around (look at your watch, look at your phone and sigh etc.)”

Not that I’m complaining though, I think it’s great! It’s just another proof that life is a stage/game/story and we are the actors/players/characters. Just another Shakespearian play (which I reckon expresses life the best out of anything, but I’ll get to THAT another time). There's nothing like a bit of Days-of-our-lives Syndrome to spice up life ;)

Calm

Being a good person…what does it entail? To help, to love, to laugh? What if you were helping Himmler at the concentration camps, what if you loved another man’s wife behind his back, what if you were laughing at a person with nothing left in life? Is that good?

She’s sucking the life out of me. She’s taken a straw to my shoulder and is slowly draining the mana out of my body. Such is the life of all depressed people; always complain of being alone, but always have friends who they desperately try to consume.

I guess it’s hard to blame them. They probably think that if their friends are having good lives then sucking them dry should be a good enough substitute for their own happiness.

I guess it’s a test of how good a person you are by how much you let them suck out of you. Being a good person is saying “would you like fries with that?” But as I’ve always said, being good to a person can never fully cure a person. When you fall on glass, you need to rip out the shards before you start to heal. As they say on Lost, “struggle is nature’s way of strengthening”

The Opium of the Masses - 21st Century Style

"These days in technology and engineering, it’s only your imagination that can limit you" --Anonymous

It’s absolutely amazing where technology is going in the future. The quote at the top is absolutely true; in a world where individual atoms can be modified by nano-bots, anything is possible.Here are some of my predictions for the future in relation to science:

Chemistry will make a come-back as a science: 30 years ago, scientists said that chemistry was a dying science. Chemistry set down the basics for the other sciences; like biology and psychology, but were useless other then that (in the area of future technology). However, with the funding boom that came nano-technology’s way (in the area of $212 million! Thanx Clinton!), in which chemistry is a major part, sees this science now revived! It’ll boom, that’s all I gotta say.

Biology will p4wn all other sciences: I think this one’s a pretty safe bet. The absolute wonders that are coming biology’s way are crazy. Nanotechnology plays the biggest part in this, for it will affect biology the most. Trillions of nano-bots can be injected into the body to cure cancer (by killing the cancer and creating a fake one in its place! Amazing!) and destroy all viruses. Nano-bots can re-arrange the atoms in your facial features to change your appearance (w00t, scar-less surgery). Then there's the humongous potential in human modification. Nano-bots and genes can create anything from different skin colour, to different physical capabilities. Bio-technology can create clothes that give the wearer the power of ten men (there is already a suit that does this in Japan, saw it on the news the other night). Bio-technology can create helmets that can tune into a certain frequency (like a gunshot, or a packet of sweet sweet Club dark chocolate opening) and direct you to the sound, it can create mobile phones built into your ear that don’t use microphones or speakers but instead manipulate the vibrations in your ear and jaw. The possibilities are literally endless…

Psychology will actually be taken seriously: The aforementioned boom in bio-technology will directly affect the field of psychology. Didn’t think psychology could grow? Well how about computers in the brain that can assist in storing memory? That can keep dates? That can SELF-DIAGNOSE your mental capacity? Not to mention the amazing amount of craziness in the world that will result from these technologies lol…

Physics will become akin to religion: A 21st century physicist will start throwing out his books by Newton, by Einstein, by Hawking; and replacing them with books of Lao Tzu and Kierkegaard. Yep, quantum physics people. When you start dealing with quantum physics (QP) the absolute impossible becomes possible because QP ARE ABSOLUTELY RANDOM. Sub-atomic particles, so they have discovered, move at their own will; thus creating the field of QT. I don’t know much about it; but the ability to calculate mathematical equations in other universes is making me want to learn!

…and here’s me waiting for one of you ‘scientifically minded’ people out there to shut me down…

Polyester Girl and the Materialetts

…and on the 8th day, God created an advertisement showcasing what he had just created…

The last 100 years have seen the growth of the corporate age, which has given leeway to a new form communication which can only properly be described as ‘self-expression crossed with brainwashing techniques, no money-back guarantee’.

While it is true that advertising does have many positive influences, mostly its influence on design (iPod ads, Nike soccer ads) and impact on the very culture of humanity (catch phrases: “Not happy Jan” etc…and that Canton Wokstar ad, I love that ad :D lol), the one thing I can never forgive advertising for is the rise of materialism.

I don’t think anything else in history has caused people to so silently yet so strongly be destroyed inside. I think this can be most easily seen in the whole clothing/image thing for teenage/pre-teen girls. Countless stories over the years; peer pressure leading to suicide and self-mutilation, whole families going broke satisfying the needs of these addictions, teen pregnancies and deaths resulting from sexually transmitted diseases. The list could go on.

The impact that its had on actual CULTURE itself is staggering, though. We don’t even know it, and it happens. Those of us who say we are “beyond all that commercial crap” are those who are most deeply in (how can you fight something in yourself that you deny exists?) Anyone who says they aren't affected by media and commercialism is suffering the worst kind of pride. We are all attached to media…dangerously so.

Which brings up an interesting point; when it comes time for human life to move on from advertising and commercialism, will we survive? Will the revolution against media kill all? Like a deathbed patient pulling his life-support from the wall. We are attached to media now, it needs us as much as we need it.

We look for clichéd scenes in real life, finding them more REAL then reality. Everyday life needs to be an episode of Neighbours, love life needs to be straight from Days of our Lives, sporting events need to be ‘broadcast straight from a channel 7 news desk’ and shopping is those ads in-between.

I’d like to talk about the most important one of those impacts on society mentioned before. The impact on ‘love’. Can such a thing be real anymore? You start feeling ‘love’ only to realise that its ‘exactly like T.V’, and if T.V isn’t real…?

Nowadays, love is never seriously represented on T.V like it was on T.V 30 years ago. The best example is one of the most clichéd ‘romantic scenes’ (now mostly used in parodies) where two people run towards each other in slow motion with arms outstretched. Go back 50 years, and people might have actually done this kind of thing (albeit not in slow motion) but nowadays that is impossible. LOVE ITSELF has changed, people just laugh at this kind of thing nowadays. Shakespearian love cannot exist nowadays, melodrama and love are two words separated by a concrete barrier with the word ‘media’ on it.

And that is what’s interesting. NOWADAYS, love isn’t represented so melodramatically! It’s represented ‘realistically’, where the endings aren’t always as happy, where sex scenes aren't always beautiful, where love seems strange and alienating for some. Will this love (the only love we can truly accept as real) soon become usurious, even humorous to us? The most important thing is, will ‘real’ love soon cease to be? Brought down by the material world that created it?

...but I love that ad about the 'Finnish' Sauce. That always makes me laugh :D "and always we are laughing!...it must be Finnish humor" hehehe...Finland