10 Things I Hate About You, Me, and the Phone

“*sneezes* Oh im sorry, its just that im allergic to bullshit” –Will Smith, I Robot

You know what the problem with me is? Im an arrogant arsehole. The world revolves around Tom and that’s that. To me, everyone has a duty to fulfil for Tom and if they don’t? Well then I whinge and moan and crap on like a bitch. Load my mouth with dung and hay and spout bullshit; a perfect Foulon’s Head.

The problem? Im full of shit. And after im done people are like “oh Tom, damn those people impeding on your life!” And they “yes Tom” and they “no Tom” and they “three bags full Tom” until the cows come home. Yes-men. All because I cant take responsibility for myself. And if anyone dares try and talk to me later about this issue will only strengthen my point so don’t bother.

I just read what I wrote…I just showed how I only think of myself! Blamed it on everyone else.

The day I get over myself is the day everyone else can get happily on with their lives. “Man is born free, but is everywhere in chains that lead back to Tom”

So she doesn’t love me. Whoop-de-fuckin-do, took you a while to figure that out, eh Romeo? Wake up, dumbarse, everyone else has.

Then again, why should she love anyone else? I love her, isn’t that enough?

You know perfectly well its not, stop being melodramatic.

Being melodramatic is what makes me me.

Makes the egotistical me.


I love her…or do i? Am I just putting it on? A soap opera within a soap opera? Touch wood; or is it too late?

I just hate change; hate letting go. Things change (hang on, I’ve been at THIS sentence before…). I’ve been at this sentence once, twice, a million times before; in my head, on paper, on computer. My problem with letting go of this sentence is that I never got to the full-stop. The full-stop is the hardest punctuation mark. It signifies and end. An end to all that you loved or hated. Better the devil you know.

She loves him. That’s not the bad thing though. When I found out, and found that I really wasn’t worried about her loving HIM, I thought “well that’s because he’s a really close friend of yours and you really trust him” but once I looked past my social façade, I found the real reason. He doesn’t love her back. He will never love her back. For whatever reason; it’s probably been my doing. With all this poetic justice ive been dealing out, ive made it a taboo. Quite frankly, I don’t care. Quite frankly, if that’s what I have to do then that’s what I have to do.

A dog is barking outside. Its echo makes the one voice seem like a chorus of followers. An untameable legion of dogs, champing at the bit, ready for action. But it’s nothing. Nothing but its own voice. The dog goes silent, and sees how empty the world really is. Silence, but for the cars driving away.

I hate the phone and the phone hates me. Its impersonality rings like a clarion. It’s the fakest, most materialistic invention of mankind (or at least, it has evolved this way). Its like talking to somebody through a wall. No visibility removes all human contact. The ability to hear voice makes people think it’s actually more personal then MSN. HA! The voice creates a false sense of INsecurity, making it feel more real. I hate the phone, its never anything but bad news.