Sunburn

“She burns like the sun, I can’t look away
She’ll burn our horizons, make no mistake” --Sunburn, Muse

Having a girlfriend alienates you from every other living thing on the planet wether you like it or not. A good example is two people in a protective bubble watching the world crash down around them. It’s you and her and no-one else, and that’s hard to accept sometimes.

It stops a lot of friendships. That’s what probably hurts the most. I asked my friends to tell me if I started to drift away. Obviously somebody’s not doing their jobs. I went to a party last night, and have never felt so removed from everyone else. I could sing praises about my girl until the cows come home, and I wouldn’t be lying; but last night hurt. Everyone was just that little bit different to me. Most especially the two girls closest to me that seem to think I can’t talk to them anymore.

I don’t know wether it’s a temporary thing at the start of relationships, wether it will go away, become worse or better. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but im not happy with it at the moment. It’s like “wanting freedom, bound and restricted” because I feel that being myself isn’t being myself when im in that situation.

I miss it already. Then again, there are always aspects of change you miss (and there’s some you relish). But it’s the choice of wether to let go or to hang on which is the hardest choice to make. Its all about listening to mind and heart respectively, weighing up the differences, and going with a story.

Am I the one that’s changing? Or are they? I don’t know, I don’t feel any different. Then again, you can never tell things like that about yourself. It’s a confusing time where I don’t know who I am, or what im going to be.

I guess it’s just change, and that’s always been hard for me.